Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
