I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
