Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
