So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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