I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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