is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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