Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
