You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
