Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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