dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
