let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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