yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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