i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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