why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
