I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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