he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
