I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
