"it" just moved
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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