I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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