I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
