dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
