PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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