He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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