Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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