he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
