there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you didnt know i had herpes?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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