goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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