Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
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It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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