I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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