i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
