I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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