someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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