Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
