i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
