What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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