I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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