So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
