Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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