he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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