I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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