I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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