put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
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10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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