Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
True college students do jello shots in the library
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