Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
