You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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