Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
