So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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