I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is Oprah even human
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
