So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
