Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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