IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
