maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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