you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
