Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
