I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
