my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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