you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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