hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
