Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize