i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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