I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
