we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
