K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so explain again why im purple
no
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
