Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
