A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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