You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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