my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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